Organization XIII Plus One
by Morgana Maeve
Summary: -Sequel to 'Canon Add In'- In The World That Never Was, Canon and Sora are about to run into a new fangirling problem. And this one has a Keyblade.


Organization XIII Plus One

**Organization XIII Plus One**

Morgana Maeve

Sequel to 'Canon Add-In.' Oh yes, fear it greatly.

Warnings: A little bit of adult humor. If FanFiction had a better rating system, I'd give this a TV-14 or TV-16 rating. So I'm going with T. If you don't agree, message me, and I'll change it to M.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. I own the Mary-Sue, but that's nothing to be proud of.

.:oOo:.

Sora ran through the halls, feet pounding against hard marble floor, Keyblade slashing through the dozens of lesser Nobodies attacking him, pausing every once in a while to execute an excellent Reversal move, confusing the hapless Dusks in front of him.

Donald and Goofy followed somewhat behind him, dealing out ineffective damage to the multitude of foes surrounding them. _Their attacks are more annoying that helpful,_ Sora thought privately. Especially Donald and his constant magic attacks. _Can't the stupid duck see that half the Nobodies aren't bothered in the least by the lightning bolts raining from Donald's staff?_

More powerful Nobodies began to pop up, Dancers and Assassins weaving across Sora's vision in a dance of white flurries and jabbing claws. One caught him unawares in the leg, talons slashing through thick fabric, and Sora stumbled back, falling onto his bottom. The Nobody pounced while Donald attacked it with a Firaga that singed Sora's hair. _Dammit, just throw the staff at it! _He braced himself for the attack, Keyblade held out in front of his body.

The expected landing never came. Instead, all of the Nobodies disappeared noisily in a cloud of swirling darkness and purple streaks, with just enough added green to make it seem mysterious. In the Nobodies' place was a hooded figure.

"Not another one of you guys," Sora yelled and groaned at the same time, jumping to his feet in a springing back flip. "Man, you just don't quit!"

"Oh, don't worry," the hooded figure said. "I'll make sure you stop." Sora blinked. The hooded figure sounded suspiciously like a girl, and he hadn't forgotten that thing that had invaded Destiny Islands a little over a year ago. He shuddered; the scars still ran deep.

The girl dropped her hood to reveal a tanned face surrounded by cropped purple hair, though her bangs were a royal blue. How her hair remained free of that pesky thing called static electricity, Sora didn't know, but he was already taking small steps back, trying to put as much distance between them as possible.

Her eyes were deep red, a little too red to be real, and dark eyeliner made shadowed rings around them. Her nose was small and a little pointed, but her lips made up for it, large and plump, the same deep purple as her hair. Her coat hid the rest of her body, though it was tailored to show off as much tapered waist as possible.

"Gawrsh, is that a Nobody or a prune?" Goofy whispered loudly to Donald, and the duck shrugged, having no experience with Mary-Sues. Sora however, looked ready to bolt.

"You're not part of the Organization!" he said, pointing his Keyblade at her. "I've seen all of them, and I've never seen you."

"I'm new," the girl explained. "I just got in last week."

"Yeah? So what's your name then?"

"Rexysuma," she said, pulling out an identification card. "See? I am part."

"But, but." Sora's mind reeled. "If you're part of the Organization, then there's more than thirteen members!"

"You think a little thing like that bothers me?" Rexysuma asked, rolling her eyes. "I can fix that easy. Right after I do a little clean-up job first."

"But where did you come from?" Sora wailed, pulling at his spiky hair. "And please don't say anything about a Sakura. Please don't. I won't be able to take it if you do."

Rexysuma took a deep breath. "Okay, follow along with me now. I'm cousins with Zexion." Sora wrinkled his brown in confusion but nodded anyway. "And my brother is Saïx. And like, Vexen is my father." Sora's mind felt like it was going to explode.

"But wait, that would make Vexen Zexion's uncle, and…and…Vexen can't have any kids! Who'd he have kids with?" he bellowed, pulling at his jacket. He was losing control, quick. "And that makes Saïx his son! What the hell? That makes no sense!"

"Does anything you've seen so far in this world make sense?" Good point. Smart ones were always harder to deal with.

"But…But…No, no. You are not part of the Organization, and you're not a Nobody. You're just some crazy girl who managed to beam herself into this world and stole some clothing. That's it." Rexysuma's eyes narrowed, and her mouth curved into a cruel smirk.

"Want me to prove that?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah," Sora challenged without thinking. Her smirk grew broader and eviler.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," she whispered, and then she snapped her fingers, room exploding into a roiling mass of dark clouds and purple streaks. She was calling her followers.

They were unlike any Nobody Sora had ever seen, and he had seen lots. These Nobodies looked like two things fused together and…oh ew. Sora recoiled in disgust. They _were_ two things fused together: two Nobodies of distinctly male form, locked together in a very passionate embrace, mouths and legs intertwined, and…_Oh, oh, my God, unmentionables._

_I really shouldn't be watching this,_ Sora decided, wanting to cover his burning eyes, to shield them away from the now undulating mass of mutant Nobody, but he found that his arms were stuck. His whole body was stuck. This was not good.

"Meet my Shipper Nobodies," Rexysuma said proudly, gesturing to the disgusting things. "Guaranteed to screw up canon wherever they go. Aren't they just adorable?"

"Not really," Sora ground out, trying to wrench his head away from the gradually nearing Nobodies. They really were disgusting, and…_Oh, please let that be slime and not what I think it is…_

Rexysuma pouted. "Well I think they are," she huffed, puffing out her cheeks in a bad impression of a chipmunk. "And they're impossible to beat. Behold, I will show you their power. Shipper Nobodies!" She threw up her hands. "Go make Xaldin/Marluxia canon!" The Nobodies disappeared.

"But I killed Marluxia! And Xaldin!" Sora shouted, waving his arms in distress around his head. (With the Nobodies gone, he was able to move again.) In actuality, Sora didn't remember Marluxia fully, but the name did jog the memory of a pink-haired, flower-throwing nut job who had done something or other to warrant a Keyblade to the face. And of course, he remembered Xaldin, or more aptly called by the trio, the Gorilla-Face. "You can't pair them together if they're both dead! And they're guys! It's just not possible!" He stuck out his chest in proud defiance. Rexysuma rolled her eyes.

"This is what happens when you go through puberty in a bubble," she told him, sticking a finger into his chest. "And I'll be you don't even have hair yet."

"I'm supposed to have hair?"

Rexysuma thought for a second. "Well, I guess not. I mean, this is a videogame, and generally speaking, guys don't have hair unless they're supposed to be epically manly. And you're not."

"Ha! Ruined your argument!" Sora laughed while Rexysuma pouted again and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Doesn't matter," she said sullenly. "My Nobodies should prove that shortly."

And they did. It took another five minutes of inane bickering, Donald and Goofy milling around behind the two teenagers doing nothing, but then the Shipper Nobodies reappeared, dragging along one Xaldin and one Marluxia.

Or at least, what used to be Xaldin and Marluxia. Their basic shape resembled the Nobodies they had once been, but besides that, there were no similarities.

They almost reminded Sora of dripping candle wax. Dripping candle wax with a lot more goo. Blobs of decomposing flesh plopped off their wildly groping arms as if it were liquefied. Large clumps of black and pink hair littered the floor around their stumbling feet – for Marluxia, the singular 'foot' might have been better used – and bits of their scalps were visible through the balding layers of hair. One of Xaldin's eyes was hanging by its retina, flopping around like a puppy on ecstasy as the two Nobodies tried to eat each other's faces off. In fact, as Sora watched, skin growing greener and greener, Marluxia's lips fell off with a wet smack, leaving a slime trail down the front of his black jacket.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Sora moaned, covering his mouth with his hand in an attempt to keep the bile in. It wasn't working, and he gagged violently, dropping to his knees. Rexysuma laughed and snapped her fingers once more. Mercifully, the Shipper Nobodies and the zombie Nobodies disappeared in a puff of purple smoke.

"See? Anything is possible," she said gleefully, completely ignoring the fact that not even Canon could bring dead things back to life fully. It was just something that couldn't be done.

"It's not possible," Sora whimpered. "They were still dead. It was like that bad zombie movie Riku made me watch one time."

"Speaking of, I hope you're ready for a night full of fluffy, gay passion in some really anatomically incorrect positions."

Sora stared at her, dread mounting.

"Yeah, you heard me. You and Riku are so totally getting it on tonight."

_At least it's not you this time. _He didn't realize that he had spoken that aloud until Rexysuma's face split into a wide, manic grin.

"It's not a threesome, is it? Tell me it's not." Goofy stared at Sora in surprise. Since when did he know what a threesome was?

"Ew, gross," Rexysuma answered. "As if. I don't need you. I have Axel." Her grin crossed from manic to just plain insane.

"Axel?" Sora repeated, dumbstruck. _"Axel?"_

Rexysuma obviously didn't like the implication Sora was drawing at. "Yes, Axel," she snapped, baring her teeth at him. "We made hot, passionate love the first night I came here."

For some reason, when Rexysuma said that, it really pissed Sora off. He felt something inside him tighten in homicidal rage, something kicking at his ribcage, fighting to be free. And in uncharacteristic malice, he delivered a scathing reply. "And I'm sure you had to chain him to the bed first."

Then he gave into the homicidal rage riling around inside him. Without even knowing what he was doing, Sora summoned his Keyblade and charged, fully intent on doing some serious damage. Rexysuma picked up on that vibe, and with a squeal worthy of a dozen Quinton Flynn fangirls, she shrieked and tried to flee, forgetting for a moment about the portals of darkness.

Luckily, or maybe unluckily, Sora's Keyblade only caught the edge of her cloak, and with a loud ripping sound, all the threads popped and the coat fell away from her body.

The first thing Sora noticed – and what red-blooded, teenage hormone-soup wouldn't – was that she wasn't wearing any pants. She wasn't really wearing much of anything.

Her outfit underneath the cloak consisted of a pair of teensy boy-shorts, black, and some sort of leather bustier-like thing that was all open in the front and had the appearance of being glued on. It was a horrible sight.

"Ack! My eyes are burning!" Sora screeched, pressing his palms to his eyes while Rexysuma blushed horribly and screamed, "Axel!"

On cue, the redheaded pyromaniac appeared, thankfully not yet dead-but-revived through Mary-Sue black magic. His normally bright, cunning eyes were clouded over, a filmy and hazy muted gray instead of their normal greenish, bluish neon stare. Axel looked almost weary, as if his mind was engaged in a terrible rebellion against his body, said body being the winner. He stood stooped like an old man, thin waist bent in the effort of supporting his chest. He said nothing and only stared at Rexysuma in forced love and affection.

"Kill him!" she yelled, pulling a Keyblade from literally nowhere and pointing it at Sora. It was a sad little thing, hardly bigger than a dagger, and it was rusted, bits of chipped metal falling from it like tetanus-laced snow. Its keychain was in the shape of interlocked male symbols, but they were falling apart, barely held together anymore.

"Why do you have a Keyblade?" Sora asked, the thing in his chest about to rip free.

"That doesn't matter," she snapped, hair gone crazy. "All that matters is that me and Axel are about to fry you. Right, sticky-buns?" Sticky-buns, Sora presumed, was directed at Axel, and he was right, because there came Axel, shuffling over to stand by her side. She smiled angelically up at him and then kissed him, using copious amounts of pierced tongue.

Sora went berserk.

Actually, it's unfair to Sora to say that he went berserk. In all technicalities, it was Roxas who went berserk, bursting from Sora's chest in a bloody explosion, dual Keyblades out and swinging. He screamed some sort of battle cry that was eerily similar to the song 'Beautiful Soul,' and then charged the Mary-Sue and the glamour-induced Axel.

Rexysuma didn't stand a chance. Roxas was on her in a minute, smashing his Keyblades down with a bloody force that had no right to be in an E-10 rated game. Rexysuma uttered one high-pitched gurgle and died, Keyblades sticking out of her chest, purple blood pooling beneath her prone body.

Axel's eyes blazed, and he dropped his head to his hands, cradling his aching skull. "What the hell was that?" he mumbled, trying to remember what had happened earlier that week. Something about breasts. He knew breasts were involved somehow.

He didn't have a chance to think anything more though. Once Roxas had ascertained that Rexysuma was dead, he whirled on Axel and seized him by the collar, shaking him with unnatural force that rattled Axel's teeth and bones and made his already bruised and bitten body shake and rattle around.

"I can't believe you!" Roxas shouted. "I go back to Sora for one minute, and there you go, screwing anything that moves! What the hell's wrong with you!? You can't do anything without me! I oughta kill you!"

Donald and Goofy, however, were poking Sora, body occasionally twitching, mouth foaming, blood spattered everywhere.

"Gee, Donald," Goofy said genially. "Whadda we do now?"

"I'll call Canon," Donald said, annoyed. "Hello, Canon? Uh, we've got a bit of a problem here. What? No! No I will not wait until you fix the Kingdom Hearts/Naruto crossover! Get over here now!"

.:oOo:.

So who saw American Idol last night? Did you see the Ford 'Ring of Fire' music video? I saw it. And I'll tell you, the first thing I did after I noticed the uber-tight matador costume was do the patented Morgana-Zoom on certain…ass-pects of our three male contestants. Oh yes, one of them had very nice ass-ets. Even though the rest of him looked kinda goofy in the costume.

(I'm talking David C. by the way. Just so none of you call the pedo-cops on me about Archuleta. Argh, can't stand him. I wanna push him off the stage. Damn child prodigy making me look bad.)

Yes, I'm a perv. But you love me anyway. (And I'm not much older than Archuleta, by the way.)

Anywayz, hoped you all cringed. –brick'd- Please read and review!


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